4/10/2007

A Little Red Pig

About a week ago one of my kids called me on the cell phone and announced to me that there was a baby red pig in the field down by the new gas building! So off I go to capture the little booger before he gets in the road and run over. All this time I'm wondering how in hell a baby pig managed to get down there without someone, previous owner? missing him/her.

Around the corner I go and there he is, standing stock still in the field with blood just pouring out of him as the ground all around was a bright red! I was amazed that he was still standing up seeing all the redness totally surrounding him! Moving up close, I discovered that this was no ordinary pig. This was a ceramic pig! Probably not going to be much good for barbecuing!

Apparently someone parked this little previously pink colored porker on the grass there and proceeded to empty a spray can of red paint on him. Ergo, all the 'blood' I saw covering him and the ground around him.

So my quest is to find out, "Does anyone want this little hardened piece of pork back at their domicile?" And what I'd really like to know is,"why was he placed there in particular to receive his new skin color"? Was this intended as some sort of voodoo talisman relating to my size as compared to this fellow when he grew up? Geez Chubby, I think some one is after all of we folks of "larger girth"! Come on now someone, 'fess up'. You can leave your answer anonymously, or leave us a nom-de -plume so we can do some detective work. Right now he is sitting on my kitchen table keeping an eye on all the stuff that goes in my garbage can! TIFN

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh- a red pig is very lucky!
But wait- does Block Island have their own chapter of PETA? "Pigs are friends NOT food?" Maybe it's them.

Could be someone belatedly celebrating Chinese New Year (2007, year of the lucky red pig) and shedding a bit of luck on the Islanders. Supposed to be a particularly auspicious year.

good listener (bad poet) said...

As you 'sow', so shall ye reap
A little red pig is a bit of a leap
Poor little porker, a bit of a runt
Sittin' in the kitchen
Can't even grunt
A red ceramic pig, free for the takin'
Maybe he's watchin'
What Verna is 'bacon'

warbler said...

Oh...that's good...that's really quite good...

Sam said...

Everett, you are like SO blessed, dude! I think I have ceramic pig envy ...

oscar mayer said...

Don't tell me.
The Easter Pig came to your home?
You must have been a very good man this year.

Anonymous said...

I have always found the bile-ridden ad hominem attack a most interesting phenomenon, and whenever it is directed against my own person I usually interpret it as a good sign. Is it not likely that they only attack a man personally sni when pe they can find no legitimate grounds to attack him? Sometimes the results, as in this case, are chuckle-raising. There is another fellow (let's call him 'John Smith') who in the past has written a number of things to the New Criterion and on the sites of one or two friends of mine who is known for his bilious ad hominem attacks. I'm sorry to say that some people have actually been offended by his remarks. I, on the other hand, have found them riproariously amusing and they have often caused me to laugh out loud. I have secretly thought that 'Mr. Smith' and I have had a secret, unspoken understanding; if you will forgive a Jonah-Goldberg-esque 'pop culture' reference, I felt rather like Kramer to the Soup Nazi, as if I was the only one who actually 'got it'. This is, in part, because I was/am convinced that no one could actually speak such ridiculous bilge in seriousness. But of course, this is just projecting myself onto others because I know I would never say such ridiculous things except as a light-hearted verbal rib-poke.

good listener (not so good at understanding) said...

Am I confused about the #6 posting? Or is it in the wrong blog? Or did anonymous just forget their Haldol?

Sam said...

Stoned, my friend Good Listener, very seriously stoned.

But that is OK, sometimes people treat these blogs like therapy and since no harm was done, well that is water under the bridge.

And while we joked about the ceramic pink pig, there are certain matters of tresspass and possible threatening messages that raise the bar to a higher degree than one would like. If it was a burning cross you'd be calling 911, right? It is similar to somebody breaking into your car, not to steal anything but to leave a threatening note.

So I can imagine Everett was a little cross-eyed about our amusing thoughts but folks, this is either some kiddies-on-a-dare or something fairly serious. I don't know if characters like Fagan are still on the Island, but Everett has a definite right to be concerned.
sam wells, SPI

kramer said...

Hey there anony 11:47....

Call home.
Some village is missing an idiot.

Everett said...

Well folks, I thought it was my brain gone softer than usual after reading the 11:47 post. I can be pretty dense at times but my visual inputting device just couldn't compute this one. Dare I ask just who the hell is Jonah Goldberg? Or were these all some sort of Orwellian clues to the "placer of the porker"? Just like that TV program, I am "LOST"!

Anonymous said...

Everett

You check out the neck road by the beachead and the monument, one more like that and it's history. oh yeah where does the bike lane go? How about scuba rentals for the bikers ?

Anonymous said...

Everett,
Didn't you predict that in a previous post?

Everett said...

Yes I did mention the possibility of this happening. It was in the post of 19 Sept of 06. You can read it by clicking on the '06 link to the right and scrolling about half way through the page. I hate (yeah, right) to say I told you so, but-----!! So I wonder just how long it will take for the State to actually take their commitment seriously and fix the damn thing. First things first though, lets conduct a TWO YEAR SURVEY first and then screw around for another year or two before agreeing to do something. Remind you of anything? Bridgegate square maybe? Another thing that DOES NOT need fixing! This new proposed "fix" for that location defies common sense. It has worked perfectly since the days when we gave up the horse!! Beats the s--- out of me why it has to be changed. I haven't seen any traffic jams lasting more than 30 seconds nor even one accident there! BAH and HUMBUG!!! TIFN

Sam said...

I've got ta come back and see if Bridgegate is all as screwy as you all say. And Everett, we did predict the road might fail along that shallow blow-through area on Corn Neck Road, probably since the Hurricane of 1938 (hehe, Ev). Have you seen the macadam and road base to see if it is FUBAR or not? Oh, you're a Navy man; the Air Force uses the term to mean something like "messed up beyond all recognition." FUBAR!

I bet it's not all that bad because they ain't spent enough "study" money on it yet so ta make it worse yet.

Sheesh, this goes way back to the idea the Town should grow some big honking dunes seaward of the low areas between the Kittens and them thar ugly condos starting on the hill to the north. Some areas had "blow-holes" so some trees or geotubes or whatever and some tractor work could keep the waves from pounding the road to pieces, especially the tender roadbed underneath all that expensive State blacktop.

As you might recall, CRMC said no dune building by the locals. Us locals know how ta grow dunes and help delay the inevitable, but it sure is sorry hearing things are getting nowhere. I don't know how much more plainly I can say it than that.
Sam, Off-Island, SPI